Enjoy Martyrdom

By way of a few recent conversations, and unsurprisingly, I've come to understand that some of my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers have concluded or have always known that the United States is literally the best place on Earth – and more pertinently that this place is not.  I’ve only made it to six countries at this point in my life, so it’s kind of hard for me to say.  But as a sworn member and one of the current 9,000 worldwide serving under the same governmental agency -- which happens to provide the cheapest form of American diplomacy out there (well, maybe after Facebook and YouTube), and as a happy citizen, I naturally want to agree.

Many of us know that the Peace Corps’ number one objective is to help with economic and social development in the many by-invitation-only countries throughout our small world by exporting knowledge and technical skill transfer through us individual volunteers.  But its other two main goals are about cultural exchange – for volunteers to introduce American culture to our assigned host countries and for us to later bring back what we’ve learned from our posts and teach our fellow country(wo)men and share our experiences.  The three goals really can’t be separated.  It’s not in the toolkit handbook, but to put it in a boiled-down tactless way, we’re kind of here to say “Hey, I’m American.  You know America??  Yep, of course you do. (Well, maybe not geographically on a map – I’ll show you that later.)  You’re right though, it is great. Yep, we’re rich and your country should be more like us.  Teach me to dance, and I’ll teach you how to ‘network,’ manage time, and maybe help you to start a library.  Oh and no, I can’t bring you to the U.S..”   I know, I know - when I put it that way, it sort of sounds terrible and like neo-red, white, and blue- colonial proselytizing, but when looking at the amount of corruption, lack of major infrastructure, poor education, AIDS epidemic, gender inequality, and the level of poverty and hunger found here, I can get behind our mission.  The world progresses in a naturally, unbalanced way.  Cell phones and mp3's are pretty much universally accessible and cheap, but clean drinking water…not so much.  So, ok, despite my slowness, I do get it.  America is great!  And others might like its conveniences - let's provide some good ole fashioned service-learning where it's desired.*  PCVs, let's roll up our sleeves, do our jobs as 'change agents', let 'em know what's out there, and help where we can.

But golly gee, sometimes Peace Corps Volunteers just need to get slapped.  Ok, ok, hold your horses - not actually slapped.  That was aggressive - only meant it in a wake-up call sort of way.   It’s just that PCVs can from time to time really complain.  A fair amount.  We all do it – myself certainly included – especially when we all get around each other.  It’s a necessary part of our coping strategy – we have to talk about our frustrations and hardships, as we undoubtedly, and often do experience and live with some major difficulties. (It's human nature and definitely not unique to PCVs, i.e., read any Facebook newsfeed.) It’s important.  I’ll continue to do it.  Like Cameroonians often say, “on suffre.”  We suffer.  Affirmation is important.  But it gets to a point sometimes - when it becomes insufferable - and I want to yell obscenities and throw things. (Don't worry, I haven't...yet.)  Yep, life in the U.S. of America is definitely easier for us.  Flushing toilets, lattes to-go, green and well-trimmed parks, Whole Foods, hot-and-ready pizzas, and movie theaters – how we dearly miss them!

However and JC, what the heck did we, individually, do to make it so great??!  I know what.  We got super lucky and/or some g(G)od(s) blessed us and we got born…in America.  Well done us.  [appropriate clapping time]

Yeah, I vote. I vote in an already existing electoral system, I've helped campaign in my free time for what I've happened to be passionate about at that time, I've done volunteer work to help less lucky people in my community, I went to college and had my tuition paid for by a great state-funded program, worked hard and long hours in jobs – the majority being already created by others, and most recently joined a government-funded volunteer program that has allowed me to travel thousands of miles away from home and experience a culture really cool and different from my own.  Yep, I love being from middle-class America -- just like the majority of my fellow PCVs.  And, I have an in-place guarantee, sans unexpected death, that I can go back there again.  I came into a well-greased running American machine – yeah, it’s one that sometimes gets slow and lazy and who knows of its future success, but it’s one that I didn't engineer.  Sure, I participate in it, which I think is important - we should keep it running.  My generation has this luxury that allows us to either be replacement parts or be possible new &  improved parts.  I’m comfortable with either option, and it's refreshing that I have it. (I’m still young – jury’s still out on my doing nothing or something.) I completely and happily accept my spoiledness!  As it pretty much comes with the social security number.

It's not the reminiscing about the good life back home that peeves me - I'm a total joiner when it comes to those conversations.  It's the damned comparisons.  That's when my furrowed brow and squinty-eyed death stare come out (although, beware - that's easily confused with my tired look, can't hear look, trying to concentrate look,  I have a headache look, or even sometimes my happy look).  I get frustrated and sometimes sick of hearing some of my colleagues quickly judge the poor state of the place which we are living and are so quick to parallel it to home.  There are so many different factors that have gone into creating both Cameroon’s and the United States’ now histories and present states, that they just can’t be straight-up compared.  (I'll spare giving a hole-filled boring history lesson.)  We can't just blame all Cameroonians for their way less than perfect 50 year old nation.  Unfair as it might be, we should know that some countries get to prosper from the help of other countries not doing the same.  Come on - aren't we the educated ones?

Yeah, our instilled American values and our way of life are fan-friggin-tastic! ...but our airs of superiority can simply be tiring.  We may eat from silver spoons, but I had nothing to do with buying them.  Life here can be tough, but we're all more than capable of living with the-less-than-fun and daily non-first-world inconveniences.  Because that’s what we signed up for.  Plus, it ain’t all that bad...don't make me make a list. You know how I like writing lists.  Stop playing the martyr...or at least enjoy it more or do it more quietly.   

Ok, I’m done, and I know I have just been projecting my own snootiness.  Complaining about complaining – that wasn’t lost on me.  And most likely, a great number of my fellow PCVs have probably done (and will do) way more to contribute to our great nation than I ever will.  In all actuality and overall, I'm surrounded by a great team of volunteers and supporting staff – there are almost 190 of us here in Cameroon - something I can truly say that I’m proud to be a part.  With the majority having wonderful, giving attitudes (much better than mine) and strong work ethics, they really are inspiring folk who I'm grateful to know. They are my support system here and many my friends.  In fact, I even think there are a few who are going to continue to put up with me and my obnoxious, self-righteous pontificating (it’s hard for me to give it up as clearly exemplified through my posts), and be friends with me for many years to come.  See, even more undeserved goodness - luck actually - which is always undeserved.

-- elizabeth "high horse" harvey
(as so lovingly referred to by my younger sister, Rebek)

*So far, I've learned a ridiculous amount more than I've taught, and I have a feeling the scales will continue to be weighted in that same imbalanced way throughout my time here.